The Life of Victoria Nox

The Life of Victoria Nox by rhodimer on Polyvore.com

I want to somehow include all of the pictures here somehow into my book that I'm writing with my friend Leah. I don't want to literally include them, but inspirationally, I hopefully can. Wish me luck.

"Hey, Welcome to Forever 21. Have you heard about..."

MY FEET HAVE OFFICIALLY DIED. I made the mistake of wearing heeled boots to work today

-_-. Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot. In my defense, I might have been thrown in an oven if I had worn something un-stylish, and my flats aren't all that stylish. I lied. I have cute floral flat boots, but they only go with so many things. The customers like me though. The only frustrating thing was that every time a manager would stop by to check on me, I either looked like I wasn't doing anything because I just got back from helping a customer, my section was in a mess even though all other times it was clean... or I'd be folding jeans and someone would come walk in right as the manager came to tell me to greet all the customers, while pointing at them. >.> How am I supposed to greet them if the manager is telling me to greet them? Should I just drown her out and shout at the customers, "HI! WELCOME TO FOREVER 21!" I guess I should have. It's just hard to break the habit of not interrupting your superiors. Other than my feet, and being afraid my bosses think I'm not a good enough multi-tasker (if only they could watch me on video... I was amazing), I love working there. I'm just going to wear comfier shoes next time.

Anyways... I'm sure anyone who's been keeping track of my blog wants to know how my boyfriend and I are... We're on a break, actually. Long story short, it is a test to see if he can stand living without me, and I don't know when I'm going to see or talk to him again... if ever. I'm sure he would tell me... If not, I'm giving him a month. If he doesn't talk to me in a month telling me what's going on, then I'm going to just guess we aren't together anymore. Of course, we're not allowed to see other people, but I don't really mind. I'm trying so hard to busy myself, hanging out with friends, working on my novels, going on polyvore.com... I don't even have time to look at other guys, let alone go out with them, nor do I even want to. No one's good enough. I didn't realize just how much this whole thing hurts, (at present moment, I am still a mask of serenity) but I was reading this book yesterday? or maybe Wednesday... Anyways, it got to this part where the main character and her love interest kissed for the first time and I got all giddy, even squealed, and then immediately after I thought of how I don't know if I'm ever going to kiss him again and promptly broke into tears. It was the only time this whole time I've broken down. Of course, I have been having migraines and nausea the whole week whenever he comes to mind, or whenever anything remotely stressful comes along. But, I'm good... and no one really talks to me about it, so I almost feel like everyone's forgot. My subconscious is my best friend; if thoughts of him weren't shoved to my subconscious right now, I'd not be as mentally well as I am right now. Then again, that's not saying much because my mind is pretty much mush. Everything I do is all automatic things that have been engraved into my skull: smile wide, laugh hard but not too hard, make a witty remark, put on clothes, do homework, brush teeth, nod... the list goes on. I am getting scary good at appearing normal and happy, sometimes I even fool myself.

Maturity is over rated :/

My boyfriend and I just had a "mature" talk about our relationship. We've been dating for a year now, and it's not as good as it used to be, but neither of us is ready to give up just yet. It's weird though because he feels like a stranger now. The old boyfriend I used to know is gone; he's a ghost. I miss him. Apparently, although we're staying exclusive, we're going to try not to be so serious. We're going to try to make it happier and back to better days... but I don't even know where to start or how to get there. We're also trying not to smother each other too much, so I haven't really talked to him much and I probably won't see him till Wednesday or something. Sigh... Why is everything a big large 3 million piece puzzle? Why can't it be like when you were little and did the ten piece ones of Winnie the Pooh or Tinkerbell?

Happy Halloween! I guess.

Halloween is supposed to be the American Holiday where everyone dresses up as someone they want to be, can't ever be, or want to make fun of, or as something to scare everyone else with. This holiday though I've noticed is meant more for children. If I were to walk door to door dressed as a princess or a witch begging for candy, I'd get some weird looks and be told that the candy was destine for children. So, in order to hold on to the magic of Halloween, adults throw costume parties.

I guess if I were invited to one of these costume parties... that might be fun, but I have no clue what I am doing tonight. I think that I'm hanging out with my boyfriend, and we might be going to a Halloween party, but otherwise our plans don't go any further than being in each other's presence. Things have gotten so complicated as an adult. As a kid, you always know that you are dressing up and going to get tons of candy and will spend the rest of the night dividing it amongst your monster and princess friends. When you're older and you're "free" it's so much more confusing. Of course, I definitely don't want to be a kid again. I just want being an adult to be simpler...

I would also like to publish my novels, be known as the next J.K. Rowling, become a millionaire, make my books into movies, and buy a whole new wonderful indie wardrobe...

Yeah... wish me luck.

I got a job :]

So I've been basically chewed out every other day for not living up to the true standards of adulthood, since I've been 18 for about 5 months. Although I go to a community college, I didn't pay for it. I don't have a license. I still live at home and it didn't seem like that was going to change any time soon. I'm still deciding what career path I want to choose. And, most importantly, I didn't have a job. The needing a job being the most important because money is the start of everything.

Well, guess what bitches! I have a job. After all those applications, and being turned down left and right, even by McDonalds!!! I got a REAL job, and it's my FIRST real job besides doing random temp and intern work. I work as a sales associate at Forever 21!! Which happens to be one of my favorite stores. I don't start till later this week, but damn am I excited. I already made friends with two of my coworkers who were hired and did orientation with me on the same day. They are Khina and Nikki.

One thing I'm most excited about is that besides paying rent to my parents which gives my room to me officially, I get to go SHOPPING! God, I miss shopping. I miss setting trends and being complimented on my outfits, but my wardrobe is so blehhh that it's a rare occasion if I do. Great, now I sound like some vain bimbo, but you see to me, fashion is an artform. What you wear is your personality, and if it isn't then you need to change. Fashion is the best way to get a good first impression in, and I have a feeling my interview outfit and my passion for Forever 21 was what got me the job, so you could say fashion saved the day.

I still have a lot more things on my to-do list of being an adult: get my driver's license, move out, think of a career path. Now that I work at Fo21 though I'm thinking maybe I will just work my way up into the fashion world. That way I'll be able to get money while writing my books on the side.

Oh, for those who don't know me, I'm an aspiring novelist. The best compliment I've had in a while was from my coworker Nikki after I told them I was a writer, she said, "You look like one, I was kind of guessing you would be one." It was definitely an awesome moment.

Another thing about being an adult is that I've been told I "need a life." Which, now that I have a job, maybe that will happen. I could never go anywher, because I could never afford it. I can also afford doing fun stuff with my boyfriend Michael. We're always so damn bored because there is nothing to do in our town that doesn't cost money, but now that we both have jobs (his is at Blockbuster :]) we can go do stuff!

Anywho, I have to go get my school ID... lol another adult-like thing I probably should have done a LOT sooner. I'm off being an adult! See ya!