I want to somehow include all of the pictures here somehow into my book that I'm writing with my friend Leah. I don't want to literally include them, but inspirationally, I hopefully can. Wish me luck.
Friday, November 12, 2010
"Hey, Welcome to Forever 21. Have you heard about..."
MY FEET HAVE OFFICIALLY DIED. I made the mistake of wearing heeled boots to work today
-_-. Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot. In my defense, I might have been thrown in an oven if I had worn something un-stylish, and my flats aren't all that stylish. I lied. I have cute floral flat boots, but they only go with so many things. The customers like me though. The only frustrating thing was that every time a manager would stop by to check on me, I either looked like I wasn't doing anything because I just got back from helping a customer, my section was in a mess even though all other times it was clean... or I'd be folding jeans and someone would come walk in right as the manager came to tell me to greet all the customers, while pointing at them. >.> How am I supposed to greet them if the manager is telling me to greet them? Should I just drown her out and shout at the customers, "HI! WELCOME TO FOREVER 21!" I guess I should have. It's just hard to break the habit of not interrupting your superiors. Other than my feet, and being afraid my bosses think I'm not a good enough multi-tasker (if only they could watch me on video... I was amazing), I love working there. I'm just going to wear comfier shoes next time.
Anyways... I'm sure anyone who's been keeping track of my blog wants to know how my boyfriend and I are... We're on a break, actually. Long story short, it is a test to see if he can stand living without me, and I don't know when I'm going to see or talk to him again... if ever. I'm sure he would tell me... If not, I'm giving him a month. If he doesn't talk to me in a month telling me what's going on, then I'm going to just guess we aren't together anymore. Of course, we're not allowed to see other people, but I don't really mind. I'm trying so hard to busy myself, hanging out with friends, working on my novels, going on polyvore.com... I don't even have time to look at other guys, let alone go out with them, nor do I even want to. No one's good enough. I didn't realize just how much this whole thing hurts, (at present moment, I am still a mask of serenity) but I was reading this book yesterday? or maybe Wednesday... Anyways, it got to this part where the main character and her love interest kissed for the first time and I got all giddy, even squealed, and then immediately after I thought of how I don't know if I'm ever going to kiss him again and promptly broke into tears. It was the only time this whole time I've broken down. Of course, I have been having migraines and nausea the whole week whenever he comes to mind, or whenever anything remotely stressful comes along. But, I'm good... and no one really talks to me about it, so I almost feel like everyone's forgot. My subconscious is my best friend; if thoughts of him weren't shoved to my subconscious right now, I'd not be as mentally well as I am right now. Then again, that's not saying much because my mind is pretty much mush. Everything I do is all automatic things that have been engraved into my skull: smile wide, laugh hard but not too hard, make a witty remark, put on clothes, do homework, brush teeth, nod... the list goes on. I am getting scary good at appearing normal and happy, sometimes I even fool myself.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Maturity is over rated :/
My boyfriend and I just had a "mature" talk about our relationship. We've been dating for a year now, and it's not as good as it used to be, but neither of us is ready to give up just yet. It's weird though because he feels like a stranger now. The old boyfriend I used to know is gone; he's a ghost. I miss him. Apparently, although we're staying exclusive, we're going to try not to be so serious. We're going to try to make it happier and back to better days... but I don't even know where to start or how to get there. We're also trying not to smother each other too much, so I haven't really talked to him much and I probably won't see him till Wednesday or something. Sigh... Why is everything a big large 3 million piece puzzle? Why can't it be like when you were little and did the ten piece ones of Winnie the Pooh or Tinkerbell?
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